We have gathered at Shanti Mandir’s Pine Bush ashram on its eighth anniversary to witness and participate in a yagna scheduled to begin at 10:00am. About eighty of us are seated inside a tent, some on meditation cushions and others on chairs. Neither overly large nor overly small, the open-sided tent is artfully proportioned for an intimate interchange.

The priest who is officiating, a brahmin, devout and sincere especially when he performs this ritual here, sits cross-legged on the floor in front of the fire pit. This pit is the center of focus. It is a 4x4 feet bricked hole into which the priest throws his various offerings during the puja.

This morning the object of our devotional sacrifice is Ganesh, Lord Shiva’s firstborn, the remover of obstacles. While the manifold prayers, blessings and offerings of the complex yagna ritual are all allurements for the senses, the real meaning unfolds inwardly, esoterically, shifting awareness to the subtle, the divinity within.

At the front of the tent a representation of Ganesh sits on the altar where He can preside over the ceremonies. Yet this representation of Him is a mere suggestion of His form, being only just over a foot tall, made of fruit, cloth and paper. Another abstraction, an arch, frames this simple altar on which is spread coconuts, fruit and incense. Behind, hangs a tapestry with two photos, one of Baba Muktananda, the other of his Guru, Bhagawan Nityananda. Their gaze reminds us that this ceremony happens under their provenance.

The priest sits squat before the pit singing the blessings in a beautifully resonant voice while periodically pouring ghee from one container into another then into the pit. This pouring represents perfection pouring from one container into another, whole, perfect and self-contained. The ghee flows into the fire, a receptacle of a kind, graphically representing the one-who-dissolves-all-things, in this instance Ganesh, who can free us from the veil hiding the indwelling Lord.

The yagna or fire sacrifice has been performed

since time immemorial as an offering to please the gods thereby bringing beneficence to the participants and the place. The energy is strong, augmented by the priest as he intones the ancient Vedic prayers. The feeling is that this particular ritual is authentic, stretching backwards and forwards in time, and welcoming all.

The fire sacrifice has been performed since time immemorial as an offering to please the gods thereby bringing beneficence to the participants and the place.

There are several Indian families here who regularly attend yagnas so that they can reconnect to their culture and traditions including the custom of regularly visiting the Guru. Most of us, however, are middle-aged baby-boomers who are still seeking, or having sought, have found a true guru. We acknowledge the history of Siddha Yoga, have digested it and re-emerged stronger. All of us have traversed a night of some kind. For some, the brightness of the yagna signals a re-dedication to sadhana, again embracing it "with energy, love and devotion," as Nityananda urged us at the previous day’s Intensive.

The yagna comes from a time before the written word. It brings to America the sacred dust of India, the fine particles of an ancient heritage that plants seeds in our consciousness and in the air, ground and trees, veritable seeds that, one day, God willing, will bear bounteous fruit.

The priest begins putting wood into the pit, thick cut-logs for the bottom and thin sticks for the top. He lights the wood with a fire-filled incense plate that he places in the pit in order to call forth a large flame. We can see black smoke spiraling upwards and can hear the twigs snapping. During an interlude in the chanting we are given a short explanation about the significance of Ganesh, the guardian of the Muladhara chakra at the base of the spine where the Kundalini resides, coiled.


Offerings to Lord Shiva as the primordial Guru

I find myself praying that the Kundalini may rise like the fire that now has risen over the lip of the pit, showing its orange head and dancing on the wood beneath its feet.

The priest is master of the fire and offers it sweet foods: rice, fruit, flower petals, and ghee. He is a specialist, an engineer, and the diverse offerings are his instruments, the fire his power source as well as his crystal ball and magic.

The time has arrived for 336 repetitions of the bija mantra to Ganesh during which time we are asked to let go of everything, the good and the bad, allowing the fire to consume whatever hinders our progress toward knowing who we truly are.

The attachment to mind and ego is what blocks us. Nityananda made it very clear at the Intensive. And what is needed to dissolve the ego’s limited self-identity and the mind’s thought modifications is the vitality, devotion and dedication that impelled Baba on his quest for self-realization. No matter the blessings or grace, the individual must make the effort. The door is there, but at the threshold stands the yawning blankness of the other side. Who has the courage to step through and return not the same as he was? How many would dive into the fire crackling in the pit? After each repetition of the mantra the priest pours another spoonful of ghee into the fire, further fueling it. Who has drenched himself in that ghee?

Baba’s achievement goads us. Nityananda at the head of the Intensive goads us. Ganesh is said to have used a goad to remove all the impediments from his path. Their challenge remains unanswered or only faintly by us. The path has miles to be walked across the span of the world to the ocean of consciousness whose waters lap at our heels. It too must be crossed whether in the palm of the guru or at the prow of his ship, a proud vessel sailing in the winds of consciousness to the other side. But we are wavering, uncertain, restless and daunted by the spectacle. One might be convinced that the trip across is necessary and right, but how will it be undertaken? By what cleverness or means, or simplicity of heart?


Guruji speaking after the yagna

Nityananda said there are those who ask the Guru to help them, to quicken their pace. The implication of the question is to lay bare the challenge to the Guru. Is he ready to help them? The truth is one must ask oneself, am I ready?

Is the bird happier caught in its cage, even a gilded cage, but fed all the food it wants, rather than soaring free. The door to the cage is open. The guru has opened it whether one thinks one is ready or not. He waits for us to wake from the dream world to the state beyond, beyond dreams and desire, to the ocean of love.

At the winding up of the 336 repetitions I begin the HAM-SA meditation technique Nityananda had given during the Intensive. I close my eyes and vividly picture the tableau of the puja. I expand my body at the in-breath to the area above the pit. In that precinct sits Ganesh to whom I pranam and offer my body as a piece of his garland to use however He wishes. On the out-breath I give up my attachment to this body. After doing this several more times I glance up from the interior Ganesh toward the area above the altar. There is a gate to a city of beautiful stone streets and buildings. Ganesh is sitting in front. I gaze further and inside this divine city the feeling of the presence of Baba and Bhagawan dawns.

So, the mystery and beauty of the Yagna unfolded and was experienced by each of us in our own way, according to our needs and situation.